21-year-old girlfriend calls out boyfriend for training with his friend before work, interrupting their joint commute

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Jul 2, 2026 10:00 AM EDT

Should you be allowed to tell your partner what they can and can't do with their morning?

There is a different balance of power in every relationship, and you never know who is comfortable with what. Everyone has a different set of boundaries, and those should be honored. But it's hard to know what's okay to ask and what isn't, since everyone has differing ideas of what's okay in a relationship. This is why we have friends. We need people outside of the relationship to give us a sense of what is and what isn't right. You can't rely on one person to validate all of your fears, since we're all different people and nobody is infallible, but you can gauge a median kind of truth from a wide array of opinions. That's what the woman in this story was doing when she reached out to the internet to get a little perspective on her relationship. She had a particular ask of her boyfriend, and she wanted to know whether or not it was reasonable. We all get a little insecure sometimes, and we're allowed to seek reassurance where we need it. But asking for too much reassurance can be a surefire way to make someone back away. If you're coming at it from a place of insecurity, you might need to double-check that you're not just making your problems somebody else's. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10643607552
    via Vitaly Gariev

    A woman sits on her bed frustrated while a man sleeps behind her

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    Am I in the wrong for not wanting to go train together with my bf and our friend to go work?

    I know it might not sound like a big deal, but me (21F) and my boyfriend (23M) usually travel to and from work. We take 1 hour of public transport in the morning, that's usually our only time alone together before work. We get to talk, relax, and just enjoy each other's company before starting our shift. On the way home, we usually travel with our group of friends from work, so the morning commute feels special because it's just us.
    via StockFunny2536
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    Recently, my boyfriend started going to the gym in the morning with a friend from work (who is also my friend). They gym near their place before work and then travel together. My boyfriend often suggests that I join after they go gym and that we all catch the train together, but I usually say no.
    via StockFunny2536
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    I'm quite introverted, especially in the mornings, and I don't really like socialising before work. I prefer a quiet and comfortable start to my day. I also really value that one-on-one time with my boyfriend, since it feels like our little routine.
    via StockFunny2536
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    I feel a bit petty for not wanting to train together with them in the morning, because I know it's not a huge issue and I don't dislike the friend at all. I just prefer having that quiet time with my boyfriend before work. AITAH for feeling this way?
    via StockFunny2536

  • This couple had a particular morning routine, and it was important to both of them. This is big as a couple- to develop your lives together, you need anchors around your day. This couple had that, but it was starting to be threatened by the boyfriend's new routine. He saw his mornings as a way to optimize, and his girlfriend was uncomfortable being left out of that conversation. But she didn't know whether or not she was in the wrong for asking for more. That's why she reached out to the internet for other opinions, which it gave in droves. Keep reading to see them.

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    Commenters agreed that there was no harm in wanting this.

    fullofbeanzzz NTA. At first, I thought you were going to say am I TA for not wanting them to go. to the gym together. Definitely NTA for preferring alone time!
    via fullofbeanzzz
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    FarRain451 You're NTA. Wanting that one on one time with your bf is cute and special. And I think you should tell your bf that. That you miss that time.
    via FarRain451
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    Cheezburger Image 10643607808
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    A sad couple sit on either ends of the bed

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    Veblen1 What did yur BF say after you explained this to him?
    via Veblen1
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    Mission_Fig2330 I guess I don't understand the problem. Are you asking your boyfriend to not go to the gym before work? Are you asking him to travel with you every morning? Or do you just feel bad for not joining them on the train?
    via Mission_Fig2330
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    pandaleer NTA. But you need to communicate this to your BF. And if he wants to continue working out in the morning, you need to be ok with that. Just like he should be ok with you not wanting to join them. Nothing is forever, and you both can't expect the routine to stay as it had been permanently. People change. Life changes. It's about communication.
    via pandaleer
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    Mistress Jacklyn Hyde You don't have to go to the gym with them, but let him work out before work.
    via MistressJacklynHyde
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    Lopsided_Respect_158 NTA. I hate training with other people, I prefer to go to the gym do my thing, you do yours, we meet after. If you'd be up for that. I say try that. But also. Talk to your bf. Tell him how you really like your morning commute and how it makes you feel
    via Lopsided_Respect_158
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    special. Sometimes that's all a guy has to hear. But also if a friend joins every now and again. It's not the end of the world, it just makes those moments all the more special. -good luck.
    via Lopsided_Respect_158
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    Clawse NTA, please do just communicate this. I'd feel and be the exact same way! You have your gentle morning before work, and he can decide whether to gym and train with his buddy or have a chill gentle ride in
    via Clawse
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    with you. Either way, that hour PT in the morning on the way to work was priceless alone time for me too! Please don't feel guilty whatsoever, this is super normal and just a simple preference of yours
    via Clawse
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    MuchDevelopment7084 NTA. I would suggest however, that you tell him. the reason. It may not have occurred to him how special that time together really is for you.
    via MuchDevelopment7084
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    Strict_Ad_389 NTA Some may feel it's clingy, but after 50 years together, being alone with my wife is the best part of the day.
    via Strict_Ad_389

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relationship advice aita relationship relationship status relationship-drama relationships story Reddit healthy relationship
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